I try to spare some of the crap that our eldest son is dishing out but find that this doesn't always work. For those interested, I'm writing about our son under 'A new kind of darkness'.
I truly hope that she can cope with our future problems, and there will be problems barring a miracle. I don't really want to tackle this new hard stuff on my own; it was mighty tough before.
This spectre of depression, this unspoken threat, this unwelcome companion, has really been on my mind and a couple of weeks ago the scare was out in the open. My wife burst into tears, firstly over our son and then over herself because she is feeling so down over what is happening. She is scared for herself.
My reaction, inappropriate, was anger. I guess that could be translated into fear. It didn't last long, I forced it away, apologised and reassured my wife that I was having trouble getting my head around our sons issues as well. We talked and got it out in the open. She got past this scary bit and we have been plodding away since; taking it one day at a time.
Depression seems to leave a sufferer with a shadow, not always thought of or seen, but there nonetheless. This shadow affects me too. It is something I always watch for when life gets a bit ugly and doesn't go to script.