The first was of my blog as it is now compared to original thoughts. I figured my writing could be of interest to others in similar circumstances, perhaps helpful and of course popular. I even had a thought bubble that it might take off and I'd be able to earn a bit of money from home through advertising on my blog.
That could happen but not likely. Having been in the blogging world for a while I know that there are many excellent writers out there and information, stories, support groups are pretty well covered. I also know there are plenty of guys out there in a similar position to me and also write on their experiences.
Similarly, there are plenty of women out there looking after their husband, partner etc. Depression is not picky when it comes to victims.
And so my blog has been slow, ignored, patchy and not in the running to make my first million. No surprises there.
I check the stats often for visitors and have Google analytics linked which is supposed to be more accurate and informative as to how my blog performs and might help my writing to be more relevant. Beween Weebly stats and Google analytics I really don't have a clue whether the visits are real or not. I think some are, though unless someone comments you can't be sure.
Nevertheless, I hope that my writing is of interest to some which leads me to the second thought that occurred to me.
This concerned a potential reader who may suffer from depression or have beaten depression (thumbs up) but remain vigilant.
My wife was, and still can be, a guilt magnet. A reader may see some similarities with my situation (being unhappy after the battle won) and think poorly of themselves for putting husbands, wives, partners etc through the fight against depression and fearing the same outcome.
My intention is not to lay any guilt trips on sufferers, not apportion any blame or fault. Everyone is different, life and relationship are without guarantees whether or not depression is involved.
Marriages can fail for many reasons. I'd be stupid to say depression doesn't affect things. It does. But no one goes out to 'catch' depression. Unexpected outcomes could be as mine. My wife, after beating depression is better in herself. She may be different in other ways that aren't good for me but that can't be helped. I can hardly expect her to be as she was for my sake if she was in fact, unknowingly, contributing to her own downfall later on in life.
I guess I'm saying that outcomes can be different, unexpected. I hope I'm expressing myself well enough to make my point; that is, to not add issues or fears to any reader/sufferer who might visit my blog.