After some years of unhappiness, stress and worry, we still have our eldest son. He has managed to get through most of his obstacles (we could only guess at them) and found that his parents still love him.
We have learned from him that in his time he has discovered that he was suffering from depression when he was young(I think even before he was a teenager). He was also pretty good in a particular area of sport (I'm not being specific on purpose) and found a little fame came his way, He didn't handle it well.
He was into drugs (not hard I think), but enough to scramble his head well and truly and twist an already difficult view of his world. He knew we tried to help but was his own worst enemy.
I think there is a little more to come that he doesn't want to reveal as yet. If so, and he does, then maybe he can really find a little peace. I'm guessing that he is gay.
A challenging time ahead for 2018.