I wrote that my daughter went along with my wishes (I said No) but felt it to be a temporary reprieve with more drama to come.
I also wrote that my wife didn't consider it to be a big issue and the two of them sharing her bed didn't worry her. My daughter's younger sibling wasn't concerned if they shared the bedroom. I was the odd one out.
Well, there are a few issues here that I considered, then dealt with. I reached my conclusions by deciding what I could live with. I truly get sick of compromising myself and went with what I felt was best.
I talked with my daughter and informed her that the situation was not going to change. I didn't give her a lot of reasons because some of those reasons I just couldn't put into words. If her and boyfriend have to play husband and wife or partners or whatever, then they can move out and get their own place. Perhaps further down the time-line they could stay here as a couple but my daughter wasn't going to get her own way this time and her boyfriend ( young guys are blockheads these days when it comes to fathers) definitely wasn't getting the green light to have my daughter (literally) under the same roof and a wall away. He needed another plan.
As for my wife, she decided to go with my wishes. I am still uneasy with our differences, of how different she is, to what I thought.
So that's it. I'm generally pretty easy going but this just wasn't going to happen. As it eventuated, (one of the reasons I didn't give to my daughter) the relationship flopped not many months after our discussions. It wasn't a surprise.
I was surprised with myself though over this issue. I couldn't convince myself that I was being narrow minded or dumb and so I went with how I felt, hypocritically or not.
In the end, my daughter still thinks I'm okay. She knows I love her but she also knows a little bit more about me and limits I possess.
What the family as a whole didn't know was this: As a Dad and general dogsbody around the place, mostly i dished out 'yes' with a few exceptions. This situation is one of those exceptions. If my decision was somehow to be ignored by daughter and family I was prepared to move out of home. To where, I didn't know, but the status quo was fragile..