Perhaps I'm having a crisis as a Dad, but I'm just not handling things well at the moment. For those who may have read my previous posts, the impression may be that things are smooth and easy going. I wish. At the moment I'd like to find a nice big rock to crawl under, perhaps emerging from time to time to see if it's safe to come out.
Just for the record, in case my kids happen along and find this blog (they know nothing of it): Kids, I love you all dearly and severely. Just leave me alone or keep it simple!
Getting to the point; Sometimes I'm the Ginger Bread man and I don't want to be caught to deal with the inevitable butting-head-against-wall talks. My daughter is responsible this time (as is her right apparently as a teenage girl) and it's to do with guys. Where does the brain go when a guy's involved? Straight down the dunny it seems. Over the last 18mths she has had 2 boyfriends; a 5-6wk stint before these two doesn't really count except I guess she got the last word in on the dumping thing. Keeping in mind she was 13 going on 14 so we weren't too worried about the boy bit. The first kid (boyfriend) turned out to be a clinging, manipulative, baggage carrying youngster with an attitude. I never liked him from the start. The second was an older guy (2yrs older) and he was a pretty good guy. This association lasted 7mths, my daughters manner making the ending no surprise to me. My wife was a little disappointed (she liked him) but we don't really want serious things happening at this time in her young life. We then breathed a sigh of relief hoping that no replacements were hiding in the wings.
The stage was set for some drama, my wife set on not letting this thing happen; for some reason she doesn't like this guy and he is too old for our daughter.
I know of this kid, but don't really know him. I'm a little undecided about the age gap though. I'm not sure what others think but there are a few variables that effect things. Our girl is quite mature for her age and this guy could be immature for his 19 yrs. He doesn't seem to be a dead beat etc, so who knows?
My main concern is that I think my daughter is not quite ready for any boyfriends at all. She didn't cope well with the two previous endings and she was the 'dumper'. Some basics need to be understood before she takes someone else to heart. She takes on serious guilt because she has hurt someone. But this is all another story. At the moment she is pursuing this 19yr old despite knowing it's not on in our books and thinking we are unaware of her actions.
My wife has clashed pretty seriously ( a bit like our elder son and myself - perhaps a guy/guy, girl/girl thing) and I have reminded our girl that we have issues with her pursuit of this guy.
Despite the low key talks with Daddy's little girl, her course is unaltered. In one of those 'catch up with quality talk on a 15min drive' occasion, my daughter said she still wanted a casual job as had been mentioned over the last 6mths. I'm all for it. But instead of something local, now she wants it to be in EB Games, 25 mins away. Why there? She's always wanted to do it! (First I'd ever heard of it). Naturally this guy lives not far from the shop but of course we would never figure that out. On this occasion, I felt a bit speechless; didn't and couldn't get into it while driving along.
I felt this wall going up and tried to fight it; at the moment it's kind of half way. I don't like walls, I'm trying to demolish one with my eldest son, I have a younger son to hit the terrible teens as well. I don't build them on purpose generally. They just seem to grow on their own. There are occasions where I do put up a wall on purpose, one I won't yell through, or say something I'm sorry for. A wall that I keep around me when I'm totally p.ssed off with someone or something. It gradually goes, it just provides a cool buffer till sanity returns. Nothing like a tough day of Dadding to keep you on your toes.
Sometimes a wall gives me a little protection, a little breather before taking the plunge again into unknown waters. Sometimes they make me hard to reach. Does anyone else experience walls? They certainly don't go down in the books as the right thing to do, but hell, I'm only a Dad and a person.