(Here's a dedicated baby carriage with inbuilt counter balance).
Just let me rest for a while, my back is killing me.
A Dad in the Raw. |
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NOT for ME. A little diversion is in order. Once the Bub is here and big enough to carry round, a few goodies are available. I tried a front pouch once (felt like a proper goose too) and was amazed at how much my back ached. Despite my incredible athleticism, powerful body and other amazing stuff, I had trouble carting around our first born for any length of time. Why Mums would want to do this to themselves, especially after carrying one inside for 9mths, is beyond me. A baby backpack was the go for me. Hmmmm. Where are we? It's cold out there. (Here's a dedicated baby carriage with inbuilt counter balance). Ahhhh. We're here, finally. Just let me rest for a while, my back is killing me.
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After we first learned 'we' were pregnant one of the things you apparently had to do was go to ante-natal classes (not anti-natal). There all the boys and girls get the good oil on blood, yelling, swearing and pain relief. Something to look forward to when actually getting the little lump out of tummy and into a pram. We went to a few classes but didn't really stick with them. Probably should have but it was difficult to get there regularly. Some good tips were given, some of the guys and one mum to be almost fainted (and this was just a video in class), and a lot of attention given to pain relief. I heard a good thing said in one of the classes (my wife agreed). The RN(registered nurse) midwife type person speaking for this class was a guy. He informed and reminded all wide-eyed mothers to be that the pain of childbirth is natural pain; not to be frightened that something is wrong; that some women deliver naturally without any pain relief. He knew as a guy that he was treading on dangerous ground here however 3 cheers for him. When he talked of epidurals, that got my attention. The idea of someone sticking a needle in your spine; no thanks. Not if I could avoid it. He explained that there are real risks associated with epidurals. Some women can be left with permanent pain or recurring back problems. Despite perhaps being howled down, I'm going to say think carefully about your spine. Perhaps you can suck severely on the laughing gas instead. My wife (who's pain threshhold is pretty much non existent) decided against an epidural; a little more on this at a later time. It was good information because..... You see, people go into patient mode all to often and accept everything said without really questioning or considering it. I've watched this from a personal point of view. What did mums to be do before hospitals and pain relief? Apparently some tribal women somewhere have their babies to go. When on a track they take a few minutes out, instantly lose weight and carry on with fresh bub on back. Not for me Charlie Brown. Hospitals are there to help if things go wrong, childbirth is a serious business. Knowing that pain in childbirth is natural helps in its own way. When all the screaming starts, the Mums to Be can forget everything they were told and go for whatever pain relief is at hand. Dads to Be can be assured that those animal sounds and contortions are all just as natural as can be, last thoughts as the floor moves to greet them. "I'm pregnant", my girlfriend said. Didn't see that coming. "Let's go to the movies or get some Maccas", was more on the cards. Nevertheless, after turning away from her (to enable pulling faces at the wall), an unbidden smile briefly visited my face. And then of course, that most ridiculous; "How did that happen?" If only a dollar for every time that question has dribbled out. Well duh. Okay; a couple of those little pills were missed due to shift work. Now to deal with a future that had stamped itself on me, on us. I really wasn't in my time of the relationship universe for moving in under the one roof and playing Dad. My girlfriend the same for her own reasons. Due to her earlier knowledge she'd had a bit of time to digest and ponder her future actions. I was on the hop, a bit dumbstruck, not overjoyed and a bit panicky. I also resented like crazy, the loss of choice as to when and with whom I became a Dad,if I became a Dad at all. That sounds mean, but that's how I felt. I wondered if maybe it was not such an accident, didn't really think so and said nothing. I'm ashamed to say abortion was raised by me but quickly dismissed. Convenient maybe, but it just didn't seem right, someone was alive in there, even if miniscule. My girlfriends biological clock, I suspect, was also ticking. The die was cast. And so the beginning. Breaking the news to families, morning sickness and some ante natal classes. It was a difficult time in many ways and not as enjoyable as it should have been. We were not moving in together despite my known "do the right thing" streak. Things were never the same again. Speaking of ante natal classes....... |
Three kids, one wife, one mortgage; one day at a time.
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